What does living Life on your own terms mean to you? Who would you love? Who would support you? What career would you choose? Where would you travel? Where would you eat? How would you play? Who would your friends be? How would people treat you? What would you attract into your life? Most importantly, how would you see yourself? What would it feel like to be in your shoes? Who is the best version of you?
First, we have to talk about the elephant in the room that we would rather ignore. We can become so caught up in the "doing", through which we hope to "arrive" at some future destination of satisfaction and happiness. We can be quite harsh with ourselves in the way we measure 'not enough', 'never good enough', which becomes the driving mantra to fuel the wrong kind of doing. We cut, measure, dissect, compare and judge ourselves. We struggle to leave ourselves alone in peace. Then we expect that negative self-assessment to magically create a better life for us in some far distant future. The good news, and bad news is this: Like attracts like. Two wrongs will not make a right. So maybe, just maybe, it is time to shift the paradigm.
What would happen if you were to give yourself permission, for just a little while, to stop striving, and instead shift your focus to one of ease, comfort, and self-appreciation? (For some of you, even granting yourself permission to ask the questions will be uncomfortable.) What is the worst thing that can happen? You may be uncomfortable. You may judge yourself ...again. That is nothing new. You can handle it.
What if, however, you start to get glimpses of what living a life on your own terms might look like? Maybe you will see the Future You - happy, strong, healthy, self- assured and resilient. Maybe you will be inspired to unlock a gift; a secret passion, a hidden gem, to share with those you love and the world at large. Let's start with the end in mind. If you were to act 'as if', from the vantage point of this bigger version of you, how would you choose differently?
Let's play a little bit. Grab your journal or scrapbook. Through pictures and words, set a strong vision for the life you want to create. Then work backwards from there. How would THAT person treat herself? Would she be a priority? Would she care about her own happiness? Would she dare to ask for the love, the dream life, the happiness, the freedom? And then from that place of self-love and empowerment, how could SHE positively impact those around her? Living Life on your own terms is not selfish, it is a call to intentionally live your purpose, and invite others to do the same.